Collective Support for Change
Today I was contemplating the meaning of life. My grandfather was a catalyst for change. He was “hungry”, as he called it. He sought out purpose and advocated to improve the conditions of his community on every level. He died in the summer of 2022, still fighting the good fight. We had many discussions surrounding his larger than life ability to support political change related to civil rights in the 1950s and 1960s, implementation of environmental sustainability projects in forestry and oceans, and the importance of education - “it’s the one thing no one can take from you”. He had a hand in writing his own obituary; the last line was the Margaret Laurence quote “If this were indeed my Final Hour, these would be my words to you. I would not claim to pass on any secret of life, for there is none, or any wisdom except the passionate plea of caring.”
I have the last 5 words tattooed on my forearm. Not only as a way to tip my hat to him (and the brilliance of Canadian female authors of the 20th century), but to remember that so many of our conversations centered on the importance of hearing the stories of others, and deciding to help when you can. And most importantly, believing in the fact that everyone is deserving of being heard, and experiencing better circumstances. We can all find our way to use our experiences in positive ways. Not exclusively for personal gain, but in ways that connect us to the greater meaning of life. The power of mutual support and understanding. The power of collective consciousness and not submitting to the voices of the loudest few.
Gabor Mate is a leading addiction medicine physician who burst onto the scene for his articulate and compassionate conveyance of the conditions experienced by people who use substances. He frequently speaks to humanize individual stories of addiction, his own experience of behavioural addiction, and his own understanding of the cause and the solution to this phenomenon. He expresses that while substance use is almost always a tool that is used to fill an emotional void, the true escape from that emptiness is within us. It is a light that we can use to find our way out of the darkness.
Imagine you have been floating out in the sea by yourself, without any feeling of safety because your environment until that time has been as unpredictable or unsafe as a storm over the ocean. Rescuers may come to take you back to land, but in reality they are just providing temporary relief; because the storm exists inside you. Peer support is using our own experience of struggle to light a flame in others, so they can find their own way out. Listening to understand and the mutual understanding of a state of being is powerful enough to cross the barrier between feeling alone, and knowing you are enough. That you are understood and still, that other person believes that you are more than the thoughts you have convinced yourself of in terms of your worth. It is being the light for others who have lost their way in the storm.
Mate has said that the opposite of addiction is connection. As seen in Abbie Stenberg’s story, her moment of clarity came when she saw her value through the eyes of someone who offered kindness without expectation. She was offered hope through genuine belief in her worth. Peer support offers community through reciprocal acknowledgement that while addiction and mental health are often all consuming, recovery is possible. It encourages the collective community to take a leap of faith and believe that a better experience is within reach, and the first step in holding it is to believe you deserve it.
Central to the idea of peer support is the understanding that not only difficult circumstances connect a community, but also the experience of personal growth. It is the key to avoiding glorification of “war stories” that can reinforce the idea that those who will go to the most extreme lengths somehow “win”. Meaningful peer support is characterized not only by receiving support when you’re having trouble accepting your worth and learning how to make change happen for yourself, but also guiding others to the same empowerment once you have. It can happen anywhere, anytime the opportunity presents itself. I am hopeful that my contributions to Write Actions supports others in accepting their intrinsic worth.